Rebelling against my purpose made my life very hard / by Tricia O Connor

In 2015 I was living in Bristol, having so much fun, lots of great friends and lots of gigs and exhibitions to go to.

Bristol is a very creative place and I felt I could be myself there.

Bristol has the vibe of a festival and everyone dresses how they want to dress. 

I had no intention of coming back to Ireland for a few years .One day I started to get this really strong need to go home.

 It felt like something inside me was calling me home. 

After crying non stop for a few weeks about my decision I decided to go back to Co.Kerry. 

I didnt really have a plan when I came home other then creating art and music events with my friends and bringing that Bristolian vibe home with me. 

I didnt have any solid plan or clarity  because I was also hiding who I was.

I was planning on keeping the spiritual side of me hidden.

 I’d no plans to share my skills and wisdom I was gathering from the spiritual journey Id been on since 2010. 

I was afraid of what people would think of me.

 I was protecting and hiding my light because I didnt want it to be taken from me.

I was afraid I’d get it wrong. 

I was in my first year of Saturn Return and I was not listening to my soul’s call for a second!!

I was rebelling against my purpose, my uniqueness and I was making life very hard for myself.

Every 27 to 29 years, Saturn returns to the sign it was in when you were born, a cycle called The Saturn Return. Understanding this cosmic rite of passage can help you advance into your next stage of adulthood.


What do you want to be when you “grow up” and are you even ready to take on such a momentous role? Every 29.5 years (approximately), you’ll get the nudge you need to advance into a new stage of adulthood.

Being rebellious is not something you want to do during your Saturn return.

And because I was not taking responsibility for my life, all areas of my life started to crumble.

 I was not on solid ground, I had no foundation. 

I had a job to do on Earth and I was ignoring it. 

Everything was taken away so I could rebuild a new infrastructure. 

I went deep into my spiritual studies and travelled with my shadow for three years and mined my unconscious for the jewels I needed. 

I found clarity, I found confidence and I found my authentic voice. 

The journey inwards is a courageous journey and often can be lonely. 

But you’ll find your truth and depth in there. 

You’ll find more energy and a solid path you can follow.

You’ll know where you are going and what you are doing if you continue to follow your intuition. 

Ask yourself 3 questions 

What is calling me?

What do I need? 

What do I desire?

Would love to hear your insights in the comments below



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